In my 60+ years I have been called many things.
- Flighty
- Unfocused
- Careless
- Undisciplined
- Unpredictable (I kind of like that one!)
I
am either hopelessly lost or hyper focused. I tried all sorts of methods to try to control my constantly wandering mind. Nothing worked for more than a few weeks. Then it was back to the same old thing. I was frustrated and ashamed, certain this was all because of a lack of will power and/or strength of character — which is what I was always told.
Finally, at the end of my rope, I talked to my doctor. She was great. I was referred to an amazing psychologist who put me through many tests. And guess what? At age 50, I was diagnosed with Adult Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). I’ve probably had it all my life.
Most of the time, my brain runs at breakneck speed from one thought to another. With medication and some techniques I have learned, I can slow it down somewhat.
I break down large, unpleasant tasks into small increments. Set a timer and work at whatever for 15 minutes, then take a break to do something fun for 30. I’ve learned one can get an amazing amount of work completed in 15 minutes. It’s almost a game to see how far I can get each time.
Getting to sleep at night is a real adventure. All the thoughts I have ignored throughout the day come out to play when I turn out the light and my head hits the pillow.
Love of creativity has been the one constant source of pleasure all my life. But, even with something that is so important to me, I can’t stay focused on one thing for very long. On any given day, you might find me
- sewing (3 works in progress)
- knitting (2 works in progress)
- writing (4 works in progress)
- experimenting in the kitchen
- coloring
- Playing games on my tablet
or any combination of the above.
I offer this not as an excuse, but as an explanation as to why I haven’t posted anything in so long.
All this aside, I am learning to live with, and even love, my wandering spirit. Sure, there have been times when it gets in the way. But most of the time it has led me to some amazing stuff.
Besides, worrying and fretting only lead to depression and anxiety. And who wants that?!
